Arizona: Hidden Gifts of Healing

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like someone was trying to tell you something? That quiet voice inside that seems to know more than your logical mind can explain?

As we continue our journey across America in celebration of our nation's upcoming 250th birthday, we're discovering how each state holds unique stories of healing, hope, and connection. Today's stop takes us to Arizona, where sometimes the most transformative family moments happen far from where we call home.

Sometimes the most powerful family connections happen in the most unexpected places. For Lisa Louise Cooke, host of the Genealogy Gems podcast, that place was a small house in Arizona filled with familiar belongings but wrapped in decades of family pain. What she discovered there, guided by an inexplicable inner knowing, would transform not just her understanding of her family, but heal a relationship she thought was lost forever.

A Legacy Hidden in Plain Sight

"I had this intense feeling. She was there with me... I could almost—it's like a voice, but you can't hear it, but you know it. She's saying you need to find it, you need to find it, it's here."

Lisa Louise's story begins where so many of ours do, with the messy realities of family life. After her parents' divorce when she was 13, followed by multiple remarriages and divorces, Lisa Louise found herself essentially raising herself through her teenage years. The relationship with her father became strained, then broken, leaving wounds that seemed too deep to heal.

But sometimes our ancestors have other plans.

When Lisa Louise's paternal grandmother passed away in Arizona, an unexpected email from her estranged father invited her to the funeral. That simple act of showing up, driving straight through the night with her husband and three children, would set in motion events that none of them could have predicted.

"I came walking across the grass and I could hear my—it was like everything went quiet and I could hear my father say 'that's my daughter.'"

The Whole Story

If you haven't heard Lisa Louise's powerful story about following her instincts to heal a family rift, take a moment to listen:

Prefer audio only? Click here to listen on your favorite podcast app.

🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How a childhood moment with her maternal grandmother sparked Lisa Louise's lifelong passion for family history
• The heartbreaking family divisions that separated her from her father for years
• The mysterious inner voice that guided her to search her grandmother's bedroom
• What she found hidden in an old suitcase that changed everything
• How a handwritten note from a great-grandmother became the bridge to reconciliation
• Why Arizona represents hope and healing in her family's story

The Power of One Story

Lisa Louise's discovery wasn't just about finding a beautiful crazy quilt made by her great-grandmother. It was about understanding that sometimes our ancestors work through the most unexpected circumstances to bring healing to their descendants.

"She desperately wanted my father and I to reconnect and to love each other and that would be her final legacy—and really it was my great grandmother's final legacy because she made the quilt."

The note pinned to that quilt carried a message of love that Lisa Louise's grandmother had never been able to express in life: "This quilt is for Ronald L. Moore. It is the last quilt his grandmother Herring made before her stroke and death. She loved him so much. I love you so very much, Ron. I'm so proud of you all. My love, Mother Moore."

In that moment, standing in a bedroom in Arizona, decades of pain began to transform into healing. The quilt became more than a family heirloom. It became a bridge between father and daughter, carrying love forward from great-grandmother to grandmother to the next generation.

Your Story

Think about the relationships in your family that feel broken or strained. Are there ancestors whose love could serve as a bridge? Sometimes healing doesn't come through direct confrontation, but through the gentle intervention of those who've gone before us.

As Lisa Louise shared,

"You need to listen to the voices in you and you need to know and you trust your instincts. There's so many ways that our ancestors want to speak to us, and the noisier we are and the more determined we are to get our way, we can't hear anything."

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. For Parents/Older Relatives: "What family treasures or heirlooms do you remember from your childhood home? Tell me about a time when finding something special brought the family together."
   
   
2. For Siblings/Cousins: "Have you ever had a moment when you felt like a deceased family member was trying to communicate something to you? What was that experience like?"
   
   
3. For Anyone: "When our family went through difficult times, what helped bring us back together? Are there stories of reconciliation in our family history that give you hope?"
   
   
4. For Grandparents: "What would you want future generations to know about the love that exists in our family, even when we don't always express it well?"
   
   

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. Document Family Relationships in Ancestry Profile Timelines: Create facts to track relationship changes like divorces, remarriages, and estrangements. This helps you understand family dynamics and can reveal patterns across generations.
   
   
2. Explore U.S. City Directories: Use Ancestry's city directories to track relatives who moved frequently or seemed to "disappear" from your family tree. These can help you understand migration patterns and locate family members during difficult periods.
   
   
3. Ask Questions About Family Heirlooms and Document the Provenance:  When making plans for who inherits what family heirlooms, be sure to write down where it came from, any stories that go along with it, and who you want to receive each of them after you’re gone. Encourage parents and aunts and uncles to do the same.
   
   

For Lisa Louise, Arizona represents hope and healing. Her story is a reminder that family healing is possible when we're willing to listen to that quiet voice that guides us toward love. Whether it's a grandmother's wedding ring that becomes a symbol of renewal, or a crazy quilt that carries messages of love across generations, our ancestors often provide exactly what we need when we need it most.

"Nobody goes untouched, nobody goes without suffering, nobody has a family that is perfect... there's always hope, there's always hope for reconciliation if there are fragments in families."

 

This episode is part of our America 250 series, where we're exploring family stories from all 50 states as we count down to America's 250th birthday. Each state holds unique tales of courage, connection, and the enduring power of family bonds that have shaped our nation's story.

What's your family's connection to Arizona—or any state that holds special meaning in your family's journey? Share your story with us on social media using #StoriesThatLiveInUs.

Ready to discover more family stories from across America? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts, and join us as we uncover the tales that connect us from sea to shining sea.

© 2025 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.