Iowa: A Love of Food and Family

Have you ever wondered what recipe means so much to you that you'd want it carved in stone? What if the simple act of preserving a family recipe could spark a movement that helps thousands of families reconnect with their own food traditions?

When library science student Rosie Grant discovered a gravestone with a spritz cookie recipe engraved on it during her 2021 cemetery internship, she thought it was simply cool, an unusual memorial worth sharing on TikTok. She had no idea that making those cookies and posting the video would unlock a hidden world of gravestone recipes spanning the entire country, or that it would transform her life's work into preserving the stories of the people behind them.

A Recipe Worth Remembering

"I thought it was the coolest thing. It looks like an open cookbook. You walk up to it and like it's a pedestal. It looks like an open stone book on a pedestal and her ingredients are written out on it. And I just thought, I wonder what that tastes like."

Rosie's simple curiosity led her to cook Naomi's spritz cookies and share them on TikTok. The response was overwhelming, not because people were fascinated by the novelty of a recipe on a gravestone, but because they recognized something deeper. Comment after comment revealed how food connects us to those we've lost: "My mom died two years ago. I still make her cake for both of our birthdays. And it helps me feel like she's still with me."

What started as one recipe quickly grew. Through crowdsourcing, family outreach, and viral discoveries, Rosie uncovered 50 recipes from gravestones across America. Each one represented not just a cherished dish, but a person whose life and legacy deserved to be remembered.

The Whole Story

If you haven't already heard my conversation with Rosie about her remarkable project, take a moment to listen in:

Prefer audio only? Click here to listen on your favorite podcast app.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How a cemetery internship during the pandemic led to a viral TikTok phenomenon and bestselling cookbook
• The touching story behind Maxine's Christmas cookies from Iowa and the German tradition of hanging cookies on trees
• Why Rosie dedicated her cookbook to both grandmothers and how they shaped her understanding of food and connection
• The surprising ways families are using gravestone recipes to inspire their own food documentation
• Rosie's practical tips for preserving your family's food history before it's too late
• Which recipe Rosie has chosen for her own gravestone (and why planning ahead matters)

The Power of One Story

The most powerful family stories often come from unexpected places. Rosie's work with gravestone recipes takes that lesson even further. She shows us that the recipes we cook today are the memories we're creating for tomorrow.

"Food is everything, it connects to everything... the connections about it has been the most rewarding part. Like, you know, we all have our recipes, we all have our gatherings, and it just to me, like I'm like, oh, this is like the meaning of life. It's just being able to do this as much as we can."

The families Rosie interviewed didn't just share recipes. They shared the people behind them. Maxine, whose Christmas cookies hang on trees in Iowa every year. Deb Nelson, the beloved radio DJ from Dow City whose cheese dip was so legendary she'd joke, "You can have the recipe over my grave" (and her family made sure she kept that promise). Naomi, whose spritz cookies started it all, and whose son and granddaughter now make them together, keeping her memory alive in Brooklyn.

These aren't just recipes. They're conversation starters, connection points, and tangible links between generations. But you don’t need a gravestone recipe to start preserving your family’s food legacy.

Your Story

Think about the recipes that define your family. Maybe it's your grandmother's cookies that she kept frozen for unexpected visits. Perhaps it's Sunday tacos that have become a weekly tradition spanning four generations. Or maybe it's that secret family recipe that everyone asks for but no one has written down yet.

What would happen if that recipe disappeared tomorrow?

Rosie's work reminds us that we don't have to wait until someone is gone to preserve their food legacy. In fact, we shouldn't wait. As she discovered through her interviews, one of the saddest messages she receives is from people saying, "My mom died and I never got her recipe because it was awkward to ask for it, or I just thought I had more time."

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. For Parents/Grandparents: "What's one recipe you learned from your mother or grandmother? Can you walk me through making it while I record you on my phone?"
2. For Aunts/Uncles: "What dish or meal reminds you most of family gatherings when you were growing up? What made those times special?"
3. For Siblings/Cousins: "What's your favorite food memory from our childhood? Is there a recipe we should make sure gets passed down to the next generation?"
4. For Anyone in Your Family: "If you could only pass down one recipe to future generations, what would it be and why? What memories are connected to that food?"

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. Create a Family Cookbook: Don't wait for a special occasion. Start documenting your family's recipes now, including not just ingredients and instructions, but the stories behind them. Who made it first? When was it typically served? What memories does it evoke?
2. Record Recipe Demonstrations: Use your phone to video record older family members making their signature dishes. Capture not just the steps, but their commentary, their techniques, and their stories. These videos become priceless family archives.
3. Start a Recipe Collection Tradition: Following Rosie's example, create a shared family recipe collection. Make copies or digital versions so everyone has access. Consider making it a holiday tradition to add new recipes each year.
4. Document Food Traditions in Your Family Tree: In your Ancestry tree, use the GALLERY to add a story and a recipe. Make sure to note what made their version of this receipt special and who they passed it to. Add photos of the person cooking if possible. Then, tag those profiles you’ve put recipes on so you can quickly get back to them.

Something More Than an Empty Plate

Rosie's cookbook, "To Die For: A Cookbook of Gravestone Recipes," represents more than just 50 recipes from gravestones. It's a call to action for all of us to document our food histories while we still can. As Rosie writes in her book:

"Document your history, make time for it, write it down, record it, leave them something more than an empty plate."

The recipes we cook today will be the memories that comfort our children and grandchildren tomorrow. Don't let them wonder what your cooking tasted like. Don't let them lose those flavors that could transport them back to your kitchen table.

Start documenting now. Ask questions. Record videos. Write down recipes. Because these aren't just ingredients and instructions. They're love letters to future generations, carved not in stone, but in the hearts of everyone who tastes them.

Follow Rosie:

• Instagram: @Ghostly.Archive
• Website: GhostlyArchive.com
• Book: "To Die For: A Cookbook of Gravestone Recipes"

What recipe would you put on your gravestone? Come on over to Instagram and share your answer with us.

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© 2025 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.